You have completed your estate plan. You have made the difficult decisions of who will be your trustees and how your property will be divided among your loved ones. However, signing the documents is not the end of the estate planning process. One step that you may want to think about is discussing your plan with your family to help them understand your motivations and your decisions. This conversation can give them time to accept your positions and have their questions answered while you are still around.
The Key Takeaways for Holding a Family Meeting
- You want to prepare for the family meeting beforehand. Preparation will help you have a smooth family meeting that is comprehensive and clear. This will help everyone understand what your estate plan says so that there is no confusion after you are gone.
- You may want to ask your estate planning attorney and/or financial advisor to attend the family meeting. Their expertise may be valuable to help explain more complicated aspects of your estate plan and help your loved ones know how your estate plan should work in practice. It can also provide a good opportunity to allow your family to know develop a relationship with the professionals that you are close to. This can help your estate plan’s administration be even smoother.
- You want to develop an agenda. This will provide direction to the family meeting while still allowing time for discussions.
Setting the Agenda
This is your estate plan, and you need to be in charge of your family meeting. Prepare an agenda that covers your motivations, goals, visions, concerns, objectives, plans, and what you expect to happen. Write your agenda down; it will help you not miss anything, especially if the meeting gets emotional.
You do not need to feel like you need to disclose your finances at this meeting. It can be an overview of your plan and those aspects that your plan was designed to address. You should allow your family members to ask you questions and discuss your plan.
What You Need to Know
Know that this family meeting will probably not be easy. Your family will come into the meeting anxious, and possibly worried, about what they are getting. A blended family may present some extra difficulties in this regard. Begin from a position of love and concern. This can help lighten the atmosphere and help your loved ones be more accepting of your decisions, even if they fall short of what your loved ones wanted.
Actions to Consider
- Choose a good location for the family meeting. For example, a public place may not be the best option. Find a room that is quiet, preferably a room that your family members already have positive memories of. If not, your attorney or advisor may have a room you can use.
- Choose a date and time that works for everyone. This may be difficult for a family spread out across the country, but try to find a time. A holiday like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a time special to your family may be best. Fortunately, if required, modern technology like FaceTime or Skype may be a good compromise.
- Make sure that everyone understands the scheduled beginning and ending times of the meeting. This will help establish boundaries and allow everyone to schedule around it.
- Do not feel like you need to allow little children to attend the family meeting. You want your children’s full attention, so try to figure out a way so that all your adult children can attend and be engaged.